I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm trying my best to be good enough for everyone. I spend hours scrolling through posts on tumblr just to find the right one to describe my mood. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I wait online for that one certain person to sign on.
I listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot and with the words, a memory plays in my mind. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air i breathe.
I don't wake up with perfect hair. I don't mine eating a Big Mac instead of salad. I never use any kind of makeup.
I don't get all the guys. But I'm willing to fight for my guy. I hate waiting. But if it means being able to be with him, I'll wait for as long as forever to be with him. I love hard and with all that i have. But i get jealous easily and I'm sad a lot. And I'll never feel good enough for him no matter how many times he tell me i am. And I'll never EVER give up on him.
I'm not popular but feel like it, when I'm with my friends. I stick to sneakers instead of heels. I don't always get my own way. I don't get everything I want.
I'm the kind of girl who is quite in large groups or around people I don't know ; you only see the real me if we're close.
I smile and laugh a lot, especially at the most in appropriate times. I'm a hopeless romantic. I trip over air, up stairs, and over people's feet and over my insecurities.
I'm the hardest person to offend, but it is all easy to make me feel horrible. No one notices my tears, no one notices my sadness or pain, but they all notice my mistakes. I'm not perfect. I always make mistakes. I hurt people. I have a long history of disappointing people. But when i say sorry, I really mean it. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, you know just to be sure. But i am trying to be a better person. I sometimes want to disappear but all i really want is to be found. My head is a very dark place. Sometimes it feels like I'm completely alone in the world.
When i get like that, I don't want to talk to people. I won't respond to your texts or emails or your messages. not because I don't want to talk to "you" . But because I don't want to "talk" . I just want everything to be okay once.
I believe people should not be judged before one takes time to get to know them, yet I am guilty of doing the exact thing. I'm one of the people that when i ask "what's wrong?" I really do care. If you're falling down, I'll be right there to pick you up. In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.
I'm exhausted, but I'm up for the fight. I am lost, but God is my light. I'm determined to make things right. And perhaps one day I'll truly be happy. And when I'm asked "Are you okay?" for once I'll say "I'm fine" and it wouldn't be a lie
I want to escape my country, meet new people, become a photographer, join the army, learn ballet or gymnastic, travel, explore the world, go on adventure and go on fun road trips, be around good energy, connect with people and learn new things. And I'm full of dreams. There are so many things I want to do, but my fear keeps holding me back.
I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I love to think rather than talk. I'm quirky, silly, blunt, awkward, clumsy, shy, strange and broken...but this is me. Take it or leave it.